a breather

I know, some people out there have this innocent thought that marriage is all nice and rosy. Marriage IS the most wonderful thing, but some, if not most, of the time, it can also be NOT the most wonderful thing.

I know, some things aren’t meant to be shared here. It’s like, my life is going to be this totally open book kind of thing. But then again, it’s my blog, so, I can write what I want, how I want it.

Before I left for my trip, I was at wits end with mr. hubby. Honestly, maybe it was also due to PMS, I was picking fights with him, basically everyday! Nothing was done correctly. Even a tiny little thing, can be blown out of proportion! Added up with work demand that was never ending!

Things were just fugly!


My guess will be, after being with someone day and night,
and seeing that they are not as perfect as was thought, the evaluations begin to change.
The intensity of the love emotion begin to diminish
because of the change in our evaluations.
If we are not careful,
we can end up hating the other person,
with the intensity that we once "loved" them.
(ok, maybe HATE is not the best word.. "getting annoyed with each other" will be a better choice?)

So, when I finally got on the trip, I said to myself:
“Maybe this trip will be a good thing for both of us.
To spend some time apart, and give each other some room to breathe.”

Although I was busy s.h.o.p.p.i.n.g. during my trip,
I still managed to steal some time thinking about my relationship.
101 questions were flushing on my mind:
“Why are things aren’t exactly the same now?”
“What has happened along the way?”
“What have both of us not doing right?”
“Are both of us letting each other’s down?”
“Am I expecting too much?”

Looking at the last question, I think my answer will be, YES?
I AM expecting too much, from my better half.
I AM expecting him to be this close to perfect husband and father, no flaws to tolerate.
Very unrealistic, am I now?

What I’ve realised is…
The thing about me (or women in general)…
we get married, with the hope that our better halves eventually change.
Along with playing different roles of being a son-in law, a husband, a father,
we expect them to behave differently, and letting go all the single-guy-habits
that they’ve had with them all the while.
They do change, I’m not saying they don’t, but at a very minimal percentage
(if I can count the percentage in the 1st place).

Expecting too much is tiring.
Expecting too much is clouding our judgment and decision.
Expecting too much is influencing the paths of our lives, not for the better, but for the worse!

It makes us forget that we are 2 voices with 1 soul!

However.............................
Spending some time apart helps, especially when we can barely face each other.
Spending some time apart helps, to make us realise (once again) how much we NEED and CARE for each other.

, who occasionally needs a breather